Desserts I DON’T Like
Living a life immersed in dessert is sweet at the very least, and sweetest at the very best. People who read this blog regularly know my intense – some would say dramatic – connection to the sweetest of all courses. There are those who’d regard a fine dinner with the most expensive ingredients as transporting, but if it ends on a low note (aka: dessert made with little thought) then I’ll remember the meal as just ho-hum. Dessert is my happiness, the defining point of the end of a meal in relation to its beginning. While it may seem that I like all desserts, judging from the superfluous often bordering-on-sexual prose that appears on this blog, it might surprise a few people to know that there are some desserts that I’d rather pass on. These are the sweet things that I’ll save my calories from and put them to more delicious use elsewhere. And if you’ve been observant, you’ll notice that I’ve never written about any of the following desserts on this blog. So, in no particular order, here are the desserts that make me want to bolt from the table. It follows that I don’t take pictures of food that I don’t like, so proper photo credits are included. 1. Black Forest Cake **Photo above from www.basketvilleaustralia.com.au I have never liked this German creation of a chocolate layer cake brushed with Kirsch and decorated with whipped cream, sour cherries and chocolate curls. Oddly enough, I like all those components separately, but together, I won’t stand for them. It may be because I’m not especially fond of alcohol, but then again, the thought of cherries and chocolate don’t hold much appeal for me either. Then again, it could be genetic, because nobody in my family likes this confection as well. Back in high school, an ardent suitor of my sister’s decided to woo her by coming over with a black forest cake. Excited at the prospect of dessert, I eagerly peeked inside the box, my smile quickly turning into a grimace when I saw its contents. I held the box at arm’s length as if it had some disease and shoved it into the refrigerator. Joining the (clueless) suitor on the couch where he was patiently waiting for my sister to get ready, I smiled ingratiatingly at him and asked the hapless chap, “So. Out of all the cakes you could give her, why did you choose a black forest?” I could barely contain my sarcasm. “Well, everybody likes black forest cake,” he replies, preening like the plucky rooster he thought he was. Pzzzt! I beeped him silently. Wrong answer! Right before she left on her date, I told my sister about the unfortunate choice of cake she had been gifted with. Rolling her eyes, she whispered, “Give it to the neighbors!” Which was what we did, because not everybody likes black forest cake, you know. 
2. Cream Puffs **Photo from Roboppy. Ironically one of my dad’s favorite sweet stuffs, cream puffs are something I turn my nose up at – yes, even those at Beard Papa’s which are reputedly the best in town. I’m not mad for choux (pronounced: shoo) pastry, made by melting butter in hot water, adding flour, and cooking until the mixture is no longer sticky. After the eggs are beaten in, the now-soft dough is piped onto a baking sheet and ascends to great heights in the heat of the oven. When cooked, choux pastry possesses a delicate, spongy texture that, coupled with pastry cream and caramelized sugar, catapults some people to stratospheric heights. But to me, it tastes like soggy cardboard. And even the silkiest vanilla bean-flecked pastry cream couldn’t make soggy cardboard taste good. 
3. Soufflés The photo above is of the dessert that came at the end of my unforgettable truffle meal. As ingrained in my memory though it is, the dessert was a low point consisting of a forgettable black truffle ice cream with a pistachio soufflé. Literally meaning “puffed up” in French, a soufflé can be either hot or cold, sweet or savory. They all start in the same way – with a roux (butter and flour cooked together) mixed with egg yolks and then flavored accordingly. Stiffly beaten egg whites are then folded into the mixture and baked (usually) in a ramekin or some such high-sided receptacle. Most food magazines tout a soufflé as the dessert to end a romantic dinner, but to me, a soufflé tastes like an airy omelet whose flavors are very much muted. Thinking that maybe I’d tasted bad soufflés, I once asked Chef Cyrille Soenen, executive chef at the Crowne Plaza Galleria how a soufflé should taste. I assumed he would know since he is, after all, French. “Well definitely, it shouldn’t be tough or chewy,” he replies, after mulling my question over. “Hmm, I’ll have to make you one so you can see.” Well, I have yet to try Chef Cyrille’s soufflé but having tasted others at equally distinguishable restaurants such as the Beverly Hills Hotel in LA and that of Chef Tonyboy Escalante's, the chef-patron of Antonio’s, I still have to say that there’s no day for a soufflé. Once, in a frenzied attempt to change my mind about it, I whipped one up (pun unintended) and had my Bin taste it. After chewing thoughtfully, he says, “Nice … erm, bread, Lor.” Ay-yay-yay. 
4. Mousse. Any flavor. **Photo from BBC Good Food. They say that a cold soufflé is difficult to distinguish from a mousse, which brings me to my fourth disliked dessert. Plenty of cake descriptions read like a misguided baker's dessert wish list boasting of meringue, cake, cream, some flan layer, chocolate chips, nuts, and oh, don’t forget the chocolate mousse or other mousse-y filling amplified with a flavored ganache and studded with caramelized macadamia shards. It’s convoluted enough to make me run screaming from the dining room to some safer haven where desserts are limited to two components. How busy can a dessert be anyway??? Mousse, which is flavored froth or foam, is nothing more to me than a bubble bath for the tongue or an overwhelming flavor smack to the mouth, as a serving of chocolate mousse is to me. Yikes. At a dinner party once, my fellow diners were all swooning to the floor over the double chocolate mousse served in a martini glass. Me? I took one spoonful and asked for the check, much to the puzzlement of the others. “But aren’t you the dessert girl?” One person asked, shoving double chocolate mousse into his mouth. Again, my ingratiating smile. Mousse doesn’t amuse me, and that includes (chocolate) marquises. Some types of mousse rely on gelatin for their structure which brings me to my next despised dessert… 
5. Gelatin anything **Photo from The Scent of Green Bananas. After a meal in a Chinese restaurant, the dessert that’s most commonly served is almond gelatin and lychee, a watery finisher that has everybody cooing, “Refreshing!” “How lovely!” I sip my tepid jasmine tea and offer my portion to the person sitting beside me. If it’s not almond gelatin and lychee, it’s black gulaman. What is gelatin but liquid that’s been thickened into gel. Its allure evades me. In the mouth, it just sits there until it’s crushed into oblivion by the force of teeth or the roof of my mouth. It’s a lazy, one-dimensional thing. Other desserts that call for gelatin such as panna cotta are alright by me, but if it’s out and out gelatin such as the two aforementioned desserts or — god forbid – Jello! then it’s a no go. 
6. Tiramisu **Photo from http://sociedadpajaril.net. I think that I don’t like this Italian confection simply because I don’t know what it’s supposed to taste like. So bastardized is it with “variations,” that the only thing everyone can agree on is that tiramisu translates to “pick me up” in Italian. Tiramisu, technically, is supposed to consist of ladyfingers or sponge cake (although some would even discount this) dipped in a coffee mixture laced with Marsala, layered with mascarpone, and garnished with grated dark chocolate. Most tiramisus that I’ve tried tend to be nothing but a mountain of whipped cream spiked with an unspeakable amount of rum or low-class alcohol. The cake or ladyfingers have often softened into extinction leaving no textural counterpoint to speak of. If I was Italian, I’d be outraged. 
7. Fruit Salad **Photo from maarte_stewart I maintain the belief that fruit can’t (it shouldn’t!) be considered dessert, unless it’s prepared as a pie or doused in some gloriously fattening thing. Fruit, especially if it’s in a salad, is not a dessert, especially if it’s prepared the way most Filipinos do it, that is: smothered in cream (preferably Nestlé) and sweetened with condensed milk. Often, it’s canned fruit cocktail that’s used for these fruit salads, and I can’t get over how these salads taste just like that – canned. After all, the fruit never falls far from the tree, er, can. Best to just get fresh (real!) fruit and embrace it with the best whipped cream you can find.
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i loved this post. passionate dessert-lover that you are, it’s great to know your personal standards and preferences. and i absolutely agree about tiramisu and blackforest cake…so bastardized that i’ve almost, but not quite, given up looking for the real thing.
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While I don’t highly dislike everything you listed here, I don’t love any of them either. I never considered fruit salad to be a dessert…actually, I dunno what category that fits into. .__.
My mum LOVES tiramisu like crazy. CRAZY. As many other people do. But I’m totally not into it, perhaps because I haven’t had a really good one. But …um, I don’t like alcohol or coffee either.
I don’t know if I’ve ever had a black forest cake! Hm. Now I’m curious to try just cos. I have a feeling I wouldn’t like it.
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This was a pleasure to read, Lori! I miss these very personal posts that display your sassy personality.
I especially relate to #7 — fruit is NOT dessert, people!
None of the desserts you listed is a favorite of mine (well, maybe tiramisu), but if nothing else were offered, I wouldn’t turn them down. Such is my addiction to sugar.
I do enjoy souffles, cream puffs (NOT Beard Papa’s, but Dulcinea’s) and tiramisu, though. About the last, I didn’t use to understand the hype, either. We tried tiramisu in one restaurant after another in Italy, but each was as boring as the last. We decided it was overrated. Then, in one restaurant, the manager kept insisting we try their tiramisu, so we reluctantly gave in. Well, it was delicious! And guess what? The cook was a Filipino!
I’ve had yummy tiramisu here, too. But then, I love coffee and liqueurs, so a dessert that contains them is a winner in my book. 
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This is me being horrified at the inclusion of souffle–the airy gingerbread souffle I had in a kitchen booth in Park City being one of the finest desserts I’ve ever consumed.
Still, I’m with you on some of these. Never understood tiramisu, myself.
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I agree with you on the tiramisu…although I’ve tasted good ones…oddly enough from a supermarket here in the U.S. My sister-in-law makes great black forest cakes. As for souffles, you have to make them yourself to really taste the real thing. I had one in Les Souffle in Manila and it was dry and needed a chocolate sauce to make it taste edible. As for cream puffs , it all has to do with the right recipe ‘coz a bad one will just taste like cardboard. As for gelatin in panna cotta…Alice Medrich once said you have to be a miser with gelatin or you would end up with a regular jello.
But then again the answer might lie in our tastebuds. I attended a food science class not too long ago and different people have different receptors on their tongue which might trigger bad and good reactions depending on the food. I could go on about this…I really find this post interesting!
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Oh, i have to agree on the souffle note. Everyone makes a fuss when a souffle arrives at the dinner table, about how amazingly light it seems. Give me a dense rich chocolate truffle instead and spare yourself th effort of whipping egg whites til you go silly. =) And fruit salad too, oh and mousse. But I’ve had really good tiramisu (and their sickly low quality counterparts) so I might just leave that out of my to-don’t dessert list just for now.
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Have you been forced to eat those fruit salads with mayonnaise in them? Miracle Whip at that? (eeeee – me running screaming)
And gelatin based cheesecakes? Why???? It’s called cheesecake for a reason, not sort-of-cheese-with-boiled-horse-hide-cake.
I recently bit into a bad creampuff, the choux was stale and the cream bit inside tasted sour. It was the essence of what not to do with a creampuff. Since I have great memories of helping my mom make creampuffs when I was a kid, this dessert does bring back good memories, unless it’s something like what I had recently, the antithesis of a good thing.
Add me to the list of those who don’t like blackforest cake, and I think the same of tiramisu. Probably due to attempts to make it and still feeling cheated (after all that work and it still doesn’t make me want to swoon!). Mousse and souffles are nice once in a blue moon, but give me rich gelatos, or a dark chocolate truffle that leaves an intense chocolate memory in my mouth anytime.
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So what DO you like?
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I agree with the souffle. I can always taste the “egginess” of it. I just don’t get it. I like coffee, alcohol and cherry so i ‘m all for black forest and i make a tiramisu suited to my palate. And i agree with Mila. Cheesecake with gelatine is NOT cheesecake!. But can’t deny my liking for almond jelly and black gulaman especially with lychees. =)
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It’s quite interesting you don’t like cream puffs (Maybe they’re not too sweet for you… Just kidding). Though I adore them terribly, I would have to agree they sometimes give a feeling of a “soggy cardboard” in the mouth when eaten. Still, they are one of my best dessert fancies.
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I also don’t like it when people serve fruit salad. To me, it is the dessert for the lazy
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have you ever tried schwartzwaeldertorte/ kirschtorte? i mean the authentic german black forest cherry cake? it does not have whipped cream and is entirely made out of fresh processed cherries and chocolate.
indeed, the local cake that goes by the name “black forest cake” is a disgrace to the german civilization and a cheap impostor at best.
i’m not a big fan of french food, but i think german, austrian and swiss desserts are the best! plus belgian chocolates!
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I agree with gelatin, cream puffs and tiramisu! No appeal to me either
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have to disagree on some points (i love mousse!) but yes, i agree that there are some people who do not like black forest, which includes me.
funny coz a couple of years ago, i went to switzerland, to black forest, home of the original black forest cake. i tried it coz it might change my mind. it didn’t. tasted like water. the philippine version is better. but i still do not eat black forest.
as well as tiramisu. never liked it.
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I too have never understood the appeal of cream puffs. All the times I have tried one they were dry and chewy…kind of like cardboard
I also agree that any gelatin dessert is not worth eating, but for me it is the lack of texture that I don’t enjoy.
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correction, its almond jelly with longans and not lychees served in a chinese restaurant!
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hmm. i like beard papa. just the plain ones, though. i’m not big on dessert but i cannot resist a good creme brulee. or a red ribbon coffee crunch cake, extra caramel syrup. or warm, custardy bread pudding with vanilla ice cream. or french apple pie (with a hint of cheese) ala mode. or that blasted orange cake at Bellini’s with candied orange rinds. or FIC’s durian ice cream. or real deal strawberry shortcakes. or ice cold sliced tropical fruit with sugar, salt and chili dip. or hot off the oven cobblers…holy crap…i do like desserts after all
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Lori,
Nice to hear your likes as well as dislikes. Gives a very refreshing edge to your post.
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To each his own, I guess. But this is nonetheless one of your more personal articles yet, Lori – ergo, makes for arrestingly good reading.
Though I will have to agree with you on the cream puffs (them with the brittle caramel glaze that makes the custard filling ooze out when you bite into one), I can never really turn down a good eclair, glossy chocolate glaze and all – never mind if the choux pastry shell tastes like cardboard. (Come to think of it, has anybody here actually tasted cardboard?)
Ditto for the gelatin desserts – moreso the ones stiffened by “gulaman” or similar agar-agar derivatives (reminds me of those colored blobs piled on plastic basins in wet markets, unabashedly worshipped by legions of flies). I have to say though that a serving of Cathedral Windows never fail to evoke fond kiddie memories of how I, along with my siblings and cousins, would be all agog in dissecting and gobbling up this rather staple potluck treat during our clan gatherings of yore.
I’m not too crazy about Black Forest Cake either, but I wouldn’t mind partaking of a slice or two – but only if it has Bing cherries in it. Maraschino cherries in this particular confection somewhat reminds me of the cold medicine flavor I detested the most as a kid.
As for Tiramisu, mousse, souffles and creamy fruit salads (with corn kernels to boot), I must confess that I can never express disdain for these as they are part of my treasure trove of comfort food – thanks to my dearly departed mom and her rich passion for things culinary.
Don’t know about you, but hands down a dessert pet peeve for me is when native rice cakes (“kalamay” and “suman” in all their glutinous forms) are shamelessly served at the end of a decidedly carbs-laden meal. Makes me want to give the host a one-way ticket to South Beach for an Atkins detoxification of his bloated starch fetish, go figure.
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With the exception of one item (more on that later), I found myself agreeing to everything you listed! “Ako rin, yuk” I heard myself say as I read down the list. Black Forest cake, mousse, fruit salad, and anything with gelatin all make me grimace. Tiramisu and souffle, I am trying to like, because everyone else fawns over them with oohs and aahs. I do try to appreciate a highly-praised puffed-up pancake souffle, especially when it’s at the end of an expensive meal, and I only like a tiramisu when it’s really bitter and has the texture of a dense cheesecake.
Now, the one item I was disappointed to see on your list was the cream puff, because I loved this dessert as a kid. Although if you’ve had a bad experience with a spoiled cream puff, I understand that it can put you off for life, because after that you’ll never bite into a cream puff without trepidation. It’s a mix of suspense and dread, not knowing what will explode into your mouth — fresh, sweet glorious cream, or rotten sour gooey filling. Anyway, I guess cream puffs aren’t really too high on my favorite desserts after all because I just realized while typing this that I’ve only been to Beard Papa twice in the past two years.
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it’s good hear the like and dislike of someone who takes dessert very seriously.
black forest cake – what were they thinking when they created this dessert??
cream puffs – love it, love it, love it.
souffl̩s Рthis i am in-between. varies on the flavor.
mousse – chocolate is preffered.
gelatin – gelo shots in college, YEAH!!!!!!!
tiramisu – i am a big tiramisu fan. it’s just basically how it was made, where it was made, and who made it. i had better tiramisu from a grocery story than some fancy restaurant here in new york. i also tried a few when i went to italy – very disappointing.
fruit salad (ambrosia) – as a full-blooded filipino, this is something that has got to be in every occassions. also, everytime there’s get together with my co-workers, this is always the requested contribution from me.
after my comments above, my rule of thumb is very simple – as long as my nieces and nephews like it, i have no problem.
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No wonder I am a diabetic. I eat anything with sugar in it but I enjoyed reading your reasons for not liking these desserts.
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never did like frozen fruit salad much either. especially when i’m at a party in a province, they always serve fruit salad frozen or otherwise.
btw, congrats on your being featured in the serious eats website! keep those food reviews coming!
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I have a ver sweet tooth too! I enjoyed reading this list, I also hate black forest, gelatin, souffle & fruit salad!!!
BLACK FOREST – hate kirsh! and cherries and chocolate DO NOT go together
GELATIN – the only gelatin that I love are chinese black gulaman, does that count?
SOUFFLE – It taste like undercooked cake to me
FRUIT SALAD – yuckie! don’t tell my dad he likes buko fruit salad
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I do like sweets as much as the next person, but I’m not fond of any of the desserts you just mentioned hehe :p
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i’m not so fond of tiramisu either but the one they serve at CIBO is an absolute exception. their version is more about the mascarpone cheese rather than the lady fingers (which I’m not a fan of). they also serve it with white chocolate shavings (i think :p). i really hope you’d give it a try
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Food preference is always a matter of personal taste. Your list is a mixture of Filipino faves – who may not be bothered with their manner of preparation. I can only say that I would happily savour any one of those if they have been superbly made. No matter how much I like a particular dessert though, if the chef/cook makes a mess of it, I won’t eat it.
My personal definition of a dessert would be anything a person rounds up a meal with – be it a cheeseboard and crackers with grapes, or something as trite as a gelato. I have sampled some of the best fruit desserts over here in Europe and I must say restos are getting more and more creative when it comes to sweet thangs. One such delight was a pear poached in brandy until it’s tender, served with a scoop of Devon vanila ice cream.
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I mostly dislike the desserts you dislike!
Black forrest—I don’t like because of the WHIPPED CREAM!
Mousses!-I also dislike mouses…sadly most french cakes, i.e. found in bizu, have mousse. If I do have a cake like chocolate mouse..I just eat the bottom chocolate cake layer =)
As for Souffles— I’va had bad ones..but I DO love the souffles at Le souffle and at La Vigne =) Have you treid their chocolate soufle? You might like it Ms. Lori =)
Tiramisus are great when they are made with real mascaprone. I hate the ones ladened with WHIPPED CREAM—The Tiramisu of Caffe Caruso is excellent =)
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I just realized how easy I am to please. Well I already knew that, but this just sealed the deal. While I don’t care much for black forest cake or cream puffs, I wouldn’t shun it if there were no other desserts. But I LOVE tiramisu!!! But I’m very picky about it, it has to come close to my sister’s version or I don’t like it. I haven’t yet been able to replicate it but am still trying. I like mousses and souffles, they’re alright. And I love jello! I always have, especially when made into cathedral windows. It’s one of those retro desserts I really enjoy.
And while I love fruits and can eat fruits for dessert any day (much to the horror of some folk), I understand your repulsion with canned fruit cocktail.
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i don’t like black forest too.. but i like fruit salad! ;P
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I haven’t tried other flavors of mousse except for the chocolate. I love it!
I’m not fond of black forest but my family loves it.
I dislike Tiramisu too. I tried it once in Seattle’s Best out of curiosity. It was like a layer of fluffy bread that tastes like coffee. It was such a bad experience and I swore, I’ll never try it again.
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I dislike Tiramisu too. I tried it once in Seattle’s Best out of curiosity. It was like a layer of fluffy bread that tastes like coffee. It was such a bad experience and I swore, I’ll never try it again.
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I just had to laugh when I looked at this post. I myself am also an overly fussy sweet tooth, and, your dislikes in sweet things are exactly the same as mine! From numero 1 to 7 lol… Although, since moving to Tokyo and trying out their french cakes, I have overcome my extreme dislike of mousse. Though I still am not too keen on them, at least the ones you get there by paris-trained patissiers are more bearable than the horrible ones you get from south asian local cake shops…
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I so agree about fruit salad, I just loathe it!!!
What’s so good about canned (i.e.: not fresh) fruits smothered in whip cream? I couldn’t even stand the advertisements on TV about how good the boy’s mom’s fruit salad is, if you know what I’m talking about..
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I will have to agree with you on the Black Forest Cake. I just never liked it.
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Tiramisu happens to be one of my favorite desserts! But I totally agree with you on the gelatin and the black forest cake.
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this my first time to comment though i usually read all the articles here, and i also agree about not enjoying the black forest cake, no matter what brand and who ever bake it.its the main ingredients really doesnt go together( thats for my opinion).Everybody has diffrent taste and preferences but i also agree one will be definitely influenced about the deserts you dont like and may scrutinize and really look on to the taste and quality when they come across with any of the desserts mentioned here.
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going through your list all i can say is: 5 out of those 7 are my favorites!!! especially chocolate mousse from anywhere…mousse anything to be precise!!! love it!!!
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I can understand why you don’t like choux pastry. It’s got to be made of really good butter and must be eaten freshly made. It deteriorates into cardboard in a matter of hours.
And people who think Beard Papa’s cream puffs are the best in town don’t know good cream puffs. The pastry is surprisingly OK when fresh but the cream filling is tasteless and obviously cheap, all starch and so little milk it’s a myth.
I’m tempted to sit at their store, waiting to buy a batch fresh from the oven. And then I’ll fill them myself with my own luxurious home-made cream filling. THAT may change your mind about cream puffs.
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i love desserts but i don;t like black forest, gelatin and fruit salad as well
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I love fruit salad.
I don’t know why. But I think it’s because it’s made by my mom. If mom doesn’t make the dessert, I don’t really eat it.
Damn that black forest cake! It’s too sweet
Bleeech!
Aww I love gelatin, tiramisu and mousse as well. The mousse, it depends. If it’s strawberry mousse, I’d eat it.
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