Confessions of a non-drinker

Thu, July7th of 2005

11:37 am

I am not a drinker.
(I can hear some jaws dropping to the floor.)

Being in the food industry, I think it’s widely assumed and sometimes even mandated that all good food lovers (read: gourmets, gourmands, and gastronomes*) should be wine drinkers. Not only that, they must also be well-versed in pairing wines with their food.

As a food writer, I’m confident that I hold my own with people in the industry: I know that this summer’s trendy ice cream flavors (in New York) are avocado, lychee, and black sesame, in addition to wasabi-ginger and cilantro; I can compare the gluten percentages of different flours with professional bakers; and I know the difference between a compote and a coulis.

But when talk turns to wine, I feel like screaming out the door. Frankly, I’m quite freaked out by words like tannin, color, aroma, and taste. My dad (a wine aficionado) once told me that I’d have to learn how to drink sooner or later, but I don’t really want to. “Face the fear,” some of you might intone, but you know what?

I don’t really care to.

I don’t like the taste of wine. Or beer. Or any kind of alcohol. I’ve never even been drunk or hung-over in my life, and I’m 31. (Shhh.) I have other sins. When it comes to alcohol, rum cake is an exception as well as Bailey’s Irish Cream. But then again, I use them both as flavoring agents in my desserts. By the way, Bailey’s is divine in brownies, on ice cream, and cheesecake, and rum is good in all sorts of cakes.

My fellow food writer, Danny (one heck of a funny guy who has a way with words), once put it to me this way, “A good match of food and wine will expand the [food] experience. A small portion of taste displays its whole universe with the right wine.” I told you he had a way with words. It sounds poetic and enchanting, but it doesn’t pull me in.

So you can imagine my anxiety when I was invited to an event dubbed “…a casual evening of wine and food” at Azzurro…

See following post.

*
Gourmets (n.) have discriminating palates and are considered connoisseurs of fine food and drink.

Gourmands (n.) People who appreciate fine food, but often to excess.

Gastronomes (n.) Same as gourmets, but the word is harder to pronounce (!)

« Authentic Italian Calzone

Azzurro and the case of the crazy chef »

7 Comments »

I dislike alcohol. Anything that makes chocolate taste bad is just…bad! Arrrgh! I mean, I know that people have been drinking alcohol for a gazillion years but I still don’t understand the appeal. Cake? Good. Chocolate? Good. Pancakes? Very good. But mix alcohol with any of them (okay, probably not pancakes, and in some cakes a little bit doesn’t bother me) and…*shudders* I can’t eat chocolate if it has too much alcohol in it beacuse it’ll make me want to retch.

I wouldn’t really care to “face the fear” either. I’ve never been drunk or even close to being drunk and I doubt I ever will unless someone drugs me first.

That chef from Azzurro would freak me out, although I could use the excuse that I’m not old enough to drink and all would be fine and dandy. I hate that law; it keeps me out of music venues where I don’t want to drink anyway.

I guess I have plebeian tastes. OH WELL! Bring on the pancakes. And a glass of water.

[Reply]

Comment by Robyn — July 7, 2005 @ 2:11 pm

I like champagne and other fizzy wines.

Hard liquor makes me break out in rashes; whiskey, in fact, smells and tastes like gasoline to me.

Beer I drink when I’m with friends who do, and only extremely rarely; the only beer I really liked came from the now-defunct Brew Brothers, where A Venetto now is.

[Reply]

Comment by Eric — July 7, 2005 @ 6:00 pm

Robyn: well if you never been drunk you can really not have an opinion, right? You have to at least try to know. It’s one thing not to like the taste of alcohol at once (in the end, who does?) but the effect is hard to resist now and then. It gets you nicely relaxed, open and (for most people) friendly happy! What can be wrong with that? I used to be like you, a bit afraid of what might happen. But then i surrendered and I’m glad I did! Wine i sso much better with food than the alternatives. Not to mention a good mojito on a hot day.

Of course, everything in moderation though! But a glass of wine or two now and then is just good for you. So let go of your control needs and relax.

[Reply]

Comment by Anonymous — July 7, 2005 @ 7:00 pm

Oops, I may have sounded a bit too impassioned in my comment. If I have to try marijuana to see what that’s all about then I’d rather not (last summer when I spent a few months living on a college campus with some friends, one of their goals was to get me to drink or smoke, but they didn’t succeed…hehe). I think I’d gag before I got to the point where it’d have any effect on me, and it would probably the same for alcohol. I’d rather be nicely relaxed because…I naturall feel nicely relaxed, not because I drank something (but that’s just me; I wouldn’t say that everyone has to feel the same way).

Cupcakes will make me friendly and happy.

[Reply]

Comment by Robyn — July 8, 2005 @ 12:46 am

ok, lori. this is really a bit of a surprise, but then again when you do your next resto review and wine is being served, make sure you bring me, you get the dessert and the rest of the food, i get the wine and spirit.

deal?

[Reply]

Comment by Junnie — July 8, 2005 @ 4:16 am

Junnie-

Deal! But how can I bring you along when you’re all the way in Switzerland? At least you’ve got all the chocolate there!

lori

[Reply]

Comment by Lori — July 10, 2005 @ 12:45 am

[...] not a fan of mousse in any shape or texture either alone or incorporated into something. I also donâ€™t drink (or rarely), so the lure of a liqueur is lost on me. But taking this dessert for what it is, I can [...]

Pingback by 10 Great Restaurants & Desserts For Motherâ€™s Day (last of 2 Parts) at Dessert Comes First - An obsession with dessert and other unabashed opinions of a food writer — February 18, 2010 @ 9:54 am

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